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ms protocol Focusing the intent of your relationship

Author(s):
Robert J. Rubel Ph.D.
M. Jen Fairfield

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This book is a map to help others design their own personal protocols. It is a book that provides countless tips and

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communications A book of practical communication insights

Author(s):
Robert J. Rubel Ph.D.
M. Jen Fairfield

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Many of our adult behaviors are largely invisible to us because they’re accepted and supported by our culture. It doesn’t occur

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bdsmmastery basics your guide to play, parties, and scene protocols

Author(s):
Robert J. Rubel Ph.D.
M. Jen Fairfield

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This is not a book that explains what BDSM is, this is a book that explains what BDSM is all

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bdsm mastery relationships a guide for creating mindful relationships for Dominants and submissives

Author(s):
Robert J. Rubel Ph.D.
M. Jen Fairfield

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This is a book about relationships. Adventuresome relationships. Relationships that are not exactly like vanilla relationships. BDSM relationships

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ms mastery updated Updated handbook of concepts, approaches and practices

Author(s):
Robert J. Rubel Ph.D.
M. Jen Fairfield

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As you learn more about M/s structures, you will learn that unlike the popularized version in which the slave’s primary reason-for-being

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master slave mastery advanced Refining the fire—ideas that matter

Author(s):
Robert J. Rubel Ph.D.
M. Jen Fairfield

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In my view, the Master/slave dynamic provides an almost unique opportunity for a like-minded couple to design a magical life for themselves… so

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Don't look back unless you want to go that way.

Personal Exploration and Discovery
Bob's Personal Journey
Kinky Stuff

photo 10 mindi

Late in May, 2003, SAADE and GWNN had sent out a special invitation to the senior members of the clubs and friends. A Leather Master was going to be Austin on business and would be available to make a presentation on “Law Enforcement and BDSM” on a Wednesday night.  Anyone want to attend?

I was the door monitor. We gathered in the back room of a Sizzler Steak House near Pflugerville—about 10 miles north of downtown Austin.  I know most of the people: many  of the SAADE Council and GWNN board members were there.  Bamm was sitting across the room holding a hunting knife to his wife’s throat.  Our guest had not yet begun to speak. It was Master Scott Parker, who, with slavette, is the current “International Master/slave” couple.  Scott also is a law enforcement officer from South Carolina: a national presenter, I was told.  (Years later, I would   enable slavette to publish her slave guidebook.)


The door to the meeting room opened and one last person came in.

She was about 10 years younger than me and “curvy.”  Her beaming, radiant smile lit up the room. Lavender jacket-top; I remember it vividly. Tits trying hard to escape their bonds.  I’d never laid eyes on her. I jumped up to make sure she intended to be in this room. With one of the thickest Texas drawls I’d ever heard outside the movies, she asked if this was the XYZ meeting, and I said yes, it was.  She said, “Then I’m in the right place.”  Now, I can’t type this and do it any justice at all, but for someone from Los Angeles and Washington DC—places I’d spent most of my life—I’d never been near anyone who spoke like this. I’d never heard anyone in Austin speak like this. It was as striking as though she were speaking with a North London accent.

I suggested that she might want to sit next to Renee and me and that I’d try to help her out with some of the terminology because I suspected that without that, she wouldn’t be able to make any sense of what Master Scott was about to say.

She readily agreed. Within moments, he was speaking.

The minute he opened his mouth I was scribbling words and their meanings. I’ve never asked her about that night. Probably should.

When Renee and I were saying good night to her, I mentioned that I was one of the people running the Austin Mentors Program that year and we always could use bottoms for the teaching sessions. I asked whether she might be interested in meeting some of the senior Dom/mes in the community, if she was thinking about exploring BDSM.  She took my card.

About six weeks later she emailed me: she was interested in learning more about being a demo bottom.  I wrote back: Actually, I need a demo bottom for a fire play instruction next week, would she be interested?

“Will I get burned?” she asked in reply.

“I don’t think so,” I answered.

“Sure, then… when and where?”

She showed up at our house on time. We did the demo and the scene ended sexually.

Literally, she spent the night.

Three months later, Mistress gave her to me as my sex slave. Well, that's not exactly right. It was hard to peel me off of Mindi and the NRE was making her crazy (I'm afraid that  I was rather out of control). There really wasn't much of an option but to absorb her into our lives, somehow. Since I'm a psychological switch, I didn't have any trouble serving Mistress and learning how to Master my slave. 

Personal Exploration and Discovery
Bob's Personal Journey
Kinky Stuff
 It was an accident. Since I didn’t know there was a kink community, I wasn’t looking for one. I’d always loved to look at porn photos,...
Personal Exploration and Discovery
Bob's Personal Journey
Presentation Experiences
One-off Presentation (eg: club)

Notes from mphoto 5 learning firey journal: During SAADE’s October meeting, there was a lot of talk about the Austin Mentor’s Program. Evidently, it’s an adjunct to SAADE, but a little apart. I don’t quite get it. Anyway, David Walker runs it and he has taken a liking to me and invited me to join a few others.

As I’ve now been “in the scene” for about six months, this is a great good fortune and good timing. This is really a new program. This is only the second year.  This time we get to spend about five hours with each of the assigned mentors, each of whom will teach us a single skill.


 

My schedule looks like this:

  • December 2001: fire play
  • January 2002: impact play—spanking, paddling, floggers
  • February; DM certification training + first aid
  • March: toybag basics
  • April: CBT + clips and clamps
  • May: electrical stimulation — violet wand and TENS
  • June: rope bondage
  • July: sensation play
  • August: submissives’ round-table
  • Sep: rough body play

photo 5.5saade



(ADDED NOTE: David and I would go on to co-author and publish the first—and to this day the only—book on fire play. David had also co-founded SAADE, initially called: “School for Advanced American-style Dominants’ Education.”  It is an “education” club as opposed to GWNN, which remains a “play” club.  GWNN stands for “Group With No Name. You could be a member of this club without showing any ID. You could sign play party waivers with an “X.”

I had a very good experience in the Mentors Program. It enabled me to meet the most senior members of the Austin community right from the beginning of my BDSM life.  By the following October, I at least knew quite a bit about what I didn’t know, but knew who could bring me further along the path.)

ms mastery updatedUpdated handbook of concepts, approaches and practices

Author(s):
Robert J. Rubel Ph.D.
M. Jen Fairfield

Buy from Amazon

In the US and would like a signed copy Buy Direct

As you learn more about M/s structures, you will learn that unlike the popularized version in which the slave’s primary reason-for-being is to satisfy Master’s wants, this can be a very, very sophisticated structure in which the Master is serving the slave’s needs every bit as much as the slave is endeavoring to fulfill Master’s wants. You will increasingly hear the phrase: “While the slave serves Master, Master serves the relationship.”

This is a revised and substantially expanded version of my prior book, Master/slave Relations: Handbook of theory and practice. Even if you've read that one, this is substantially different. This is a book both for people starting out in M/s and also for people who have been involved for a few years.

 

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