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Is THAT what they meant?  A book of practical communication insights

c 53 communication cover

We wrote this book because many of our adult behaviors are largely invisible to us; they’re accepted and supported by our culture. It doesn’t occur to us to question our own (or our partner’s) basic assumptions about who we are and how we interact in the world.

This is really a book of the things I’ve had to learn in order to communicate effectively. In the process of learning all this, I came to understand how difficult it is to step aside from yourself and explore why you think as you do. However, the more you understand how you (and those with whom you're speaking) take in information, the easier the communication becomes. The book is meant as a guide to help people decipher what others are saying and also to readers realize why some of their messages are not being heard the way you intended them.   

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Master/slave Mastery – Protocols: Focusing the intent of your relationship

c 52 protocolc cover

This book is a map to help others design their own personal protocols.  It is a book that provides countless tips and techniques for Masters so they can clarify how they, themselves want to be served. The book gives details about how we (within our relationship) translagted those wishes into elegant service.

In our experience, a protocol manual is much more than documenting rules of service. Writing a protocol manual helps you examine and refine your relationship and your relationship management style. The very process of creating a manual such as this reveals the kinds of service Master really wantsfrom the slave and the kinds of service the slave can actually deliver.

In that light, writing a protocol manual is an exercise in clarifying the intent of your relationshiop.

 

 

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A Different Kind of Kink Photography (Photo Manipulation)

c 51 whipping   c 50 dinner

I’ve developed a new hobby! I select a photo from my vast array of downloaded porn and I “mess with it” in Photoshop. I have a lot of fun doing that and the images are totally weird. I don’t know if there is a market for this, and I’m not sure how to market them, anyway. Perhaps post them to Pinterest with the website across the image.

I’d be interested in feedback from blog readers.

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Master/slave Mastery – Advanced:  Rekindling the fire, ideas that matter

c 49 advancedcover

This is an advanced Master/slave book. It's for people with very strong core values who have been doing M/s for 5+ years (or been heavily involved in D/s for that long).  This is for people who know a lot about a lot and are open to thinking about what they know in a different way. This is a "content-heavy" book. You'll want about five years of experience to be able to read it comfortably. Readers should thoroughly understand the difference between a D/s culture and an M/s culture.

This book presents many viewpoints on M/s relationships.  I've been attending M/s conferences since 2003 and have taken good notes. Those notes, my 13 years living 24/7 M/s, and extensive discussions with hundreds of people who identify with Mastery and slavery have been combined to create this book. Jen and I explain how strong leaders can combine with strong supportive followers to make a magical relationship.

Unlike the fictional world of Masters and slaves, this book discusses the very real challenges and opportunities available to long-term M/s couples.

 

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My Father Dies

Sorry to be a bit disconnected here and on FetLife these past few days; we're in Santa Fe for my Father's (John H. Rubel) "Celebration of Life" service. He died earlier this month; he was nearly 95. He was a very accomplished and interesting person. He was
 
This party, for that's really what it was, was held in one of the largest homes I've ever been in. I would guess 10,000 sq feet or more. Lavish. Well staffed. Well catered. LOTS of people--perhaps 100.   My younger brother (William) made the Family's speech at the memorial service that took place before the “heavy appetizers” when everyone mingled in the lower level. According to Jewish tradition, I should have done it, but Robin (Father's wife) didn't want me speaking. Probably a good thing: our relationship had not survived my decision to divorce Margo, my first wife, as we still had young children at home. 
At any rate, I'm glad to have Master here with me. This house and the way the guests were served was a snapshot of a lifestyle you only see in movies.

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